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“Bloody civil servants,” a deep-throated roar, “You made a swina bqllr of earth already, now you want to mess around with the status quo in the afterlife.” Status quo, he was proud of that. The others had always said he was too volatile, one lightning bolt short of a quiver they said. Well, he’d done some studying since he retired, hadn’t he?

The smaller man, the one with the clipboard said “I don’t believe that, whatever you say, we have made a pig’s penis of earth, and we are merely requesting a minor…modernisation of this tavern”

Thor was surprised that the bespectacled little rasshol had found so little difficulty in translating the Norse tongue.  “This tavern?  You mean my tavern. I used my whole golden handshake pay-off setting this place up. It’s been the same for 400 years.”

“I can see that.” He wrinkled his nose, “Not too much cleaning done in that time either I dare say.”

“Adds character. Nothing wrong with some animal grease and ale, haeknefr.”

The man’s hand went to his nose, he had always been teased for it’s beaklike shape.

“Besides I have modernised. Look, I have these newfangled see-through containers as well as goblets and the skulls of mine enemies.”

The other man peeled his foot from the floor and stepped forward.

“Be reasonable Thor. The powers that be are only suggesting small changes, for example, you could replace the carpet.”

Thor’s flame coloured eyebrows knitted together, confused. “What carpet?” The man paled before him. “Hey, no passing out in here, anyway there was once a time I was the powers that be….um.…were the powers that be…..was the….. I’m changing nothing!” He leaned forward across the bar. The ancient splintered wood creaked beneath his bulk, his shaggy red beard spread across the counter. “Do you hear me?”

Both men stepped back in mutual alarm. “Even…maybe just the…the name?” the little one’s voice squeaked.

“Especially not the name. Thunderstruck is a bloody good name for a pub gaugbrojotr” He noticed the interest of the other patrons in the pub. “Grave robber.” He added for their benefit.

“Ok Mr Thor we will go for now, but the directives are clear” he waved the clipboard in the air. “Someone else will be along to follow up.”

“Let them come.” Thor patted the case on the wall beside him. It read “In case of emergency – Break glass” and housed Thor’s war hammer Mjollnir. “We’ll be waiting.”

Bushman